every time I see a news camera I will be walking like this.
there’s caution tape cuz you ain’t ready for that jelly.
but first of all how the fuck do you steal an atm
Hi you sexy being!♡
The last ones!!!!! NEED
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Just finished hotboxing the bathroom with Colorado’s new “Black Label” hash-joints…
Boi smoked himself into oblivion
damn son that’s a new level of turnt
i really want a girlfriend that will think its normal and ok for me to like chill in bed together with my hand like down her pants or shirt and not doing anything its just there cause its comfortable
i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth
she’s waiting for the salsa
He does realize that the more a person is worth, the higher the settlement will be, correct?
And he still doesn’t care. That’s how much of a boss he is…
u think just because it’s pink n cute n shit it’s not gonna do anything? ok go play on it and see what happens. I ain’t gonna help u when that nasty ass demon drags u into ur basement. see u in the afterlife
I have a story.
So my sister got run over by a car once. It was a pretty big deal. Well like a year later she got into a little fender bender and was really bent out of shape about it, so I went and got her a cake.
When I put in my order for the cake, the guy at the bakery asked, “Do you want it to say anything?”
And with a perfectly straight face, I said, “‘Sorry you got hit by a car again.’”
He narrowed his eyes a moment, then nodded and wrote it down, and took it to kitchen to get the writing done.
All the way from the back of the kitchen, I hear a woman shout, “‘Again’?!”